xXx: 6 Things That Still Don’t Make Sense About This Movie

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Vin Diesel in xXX

I would be the first to confess that I unashamedly love Vin Diesel’s 2002 excessive sports activities spy movie xXx (and its sequels to a sure extent). There’s simply one thing concerning the early 2000s look to the movie and all the trimmings of a turn-of-the-century spy movie that was attempting to show that James Bond was yesterday’s information. And though I do not suppose that Xander Cage will ever maintain a candle (or a bottle of SoBe) to the world’s most voguish spy, the primary entry within the xXx saga is an actual blast from the previous.

However (an enormous however right here), Rob Cohen’s anti-007 movie is not with out its shortcomings and pitfalls, as there are fairly a number of issues concerning the film that do not make sense 18 years later. I hope I do not sound like Roger Ebert discovering each single flaw within the film’s plot, motion sequences, or different escapades as a result of I truthfully take pleasure in this film, however a few of the stuff on this film is preposterous and defies logic. So, what would not make sense concerning the film? Humorous it’s best to ask…

xXx

Xander Cage Ended Up On The NSA’s Radar For Stealing And Crashing A Senator’s Automobile?

Earlier than we even hear Vin Diesel’s Xander Cage converse a single line of dialogue in xXx we all know he’ll be a badass after he steals a crimson Corvette belonging to a U.S. Senator who hates skateboarding however loves quick sports activities automobiles. These conversant in the scene know that Xander takes the automotive on a joyride/police chase earlier than driving it off a bridge and parachutes to security. Easy sufficient, proper? Nicely, the very subsequent scene reveals our lovable bald hero internet hosting a celebration with a few of the largest names in excessive sports activities and SoBe bottles earlier than being raided by authorities and brought into custody by who later seems to be the NSA.

My solely query how did stealing a automotive from a senator and crashing it earn Xander Cage a spot on the Nationwide Safety Company’s listing? Boosting DVD gamers? Perhaps. Committing securities fraud? Most likely. I imply, it is not like he was given a video of the chief of the NSA assassinating somebody. Oops, incorrect film. However critically, how did a high-ranking NSA official like Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) catch wind of somebody who was a low-priority for the FBI?

Vin Diesel in xXx

How Did Xander Decide Up On All The Errors In The Diner Scene?

Most likely the second most well-known diner scene involving Samuel L. Jackson, the NSA’s first check for Xander Cage in xXx is among the most ridiculous and exhausting to clarify scenes in all the film, which is saying loads. After the rousing social gathering scene during which he was arrested, Xander is subsequent seen waking up in a busy diner the next morning. Our man rapidly picks up on quite a lot of errors with all the pieces that is occurring round him, together with the stickup by two guys who’re clearly not a pair of profitable bandits. However how does he choose up on all of this?

Xander Cage says that he observed that the “waitress” was carrying heels, which he says is an enormous no-no for somebody in that occupation. Why’d he suppose to verify her sneakers. He additionally notices that one of many “robbers” was studying the Monetary Occasions on Sunday when the markets are closed. How does Xander know this? Does he mess with shares the identical approach he messes with senators’ automobiles? And the way does he know it is Sunday morning? For all Xander is aware of, he might have been knocked out for days earlier than being dropped off on the diner. And another factor, if the cook dinner is aware of the shotgun is filled with blanks, why does he seize his pistol when Xander fires off a shot on the wall?

Vin Diesel and those other guys in xXx

Why Did The NSA Ship So Many Recruits To The Drug Cartel If They Solely Actually Needed Xander Cage?

The entire raid on the Colombian drug operation scene is among the most enjoyable (and explosive) scenes within the early a part of the film, however there are various issues that simply do not make any sense on this illogical mess of a sequence. First, why would the NSA just about ship two ill-equipped candidates with Xander Cage after they know all alongside that xXx is their man? I suppose this occurred so we might get extra explosions, dust bikes, and guys operating round with bundles of cocaine for a couple of minutes.

Following the group’s seize and torture by the hands of Danny Trejo’s El Jefe (nice cameo, by the best way), the escape and run off in all instructions whereas the Colombian Military raids the compound, this time placing even Xander Cage in danger. And yeah, Augustus Gibbons was attempting to see what Xander Cage was made from earlier than he despatched the adrenaline-junkie on his actual mission, however what would have occurred if Xander bought shot or chopped up by the helicopter he jumped over in spectacular trend? This simply looks as if quite a lot of dangers simply to show Xander is a badass able to infiltrating a gaggle of supposed anarchists with a reasonably stable construction in place.

The Anarchy 99 group in xXx

Should not Anarchy 99 Be Towards Teams With Leaders Who Personal Property And Huge Networks?

Anarchy 99, the Russian terrorist group made up of former troopers, is on the coronary heart and middle of the battle in xXx as they acquire and plan to make use of the “Silent Night time” biochemical weapon and produce chaos to the world. There’s only one downside with the title and the mission of the group. Certain, they wish to eliminate world governments and create a society freed from guidelines and governance similar to any good idealistic anarchist, however they’ve some fairly main obvious points that may make Leo Tolstoy roll in his grave and shake his fists at Yorgi’s (Marton Csokas) misinterpretation of the phrase “Anarchy.”

Aren’t anarchists in opposition to societal construction and the possession of property? If that’s the case, then Yorgi and his assortment of armed goons and scientists (RIP to these courageous souls) are something however anarchists contemplating Anarchy 99 has a hierarchy of management (Yorgi), who owns a number of properties, companies, and networks round Europe. This side of the film has by no means made sense to me, even when the title “Anarchy 99” sounds fairly cool. Perhaps he simply would not wish to cope with fireplace marshalls each time he needs to host his subsequent Rammstein live performance.

Vin Diesel in xXx

Every little thing About The Snowboarding Scene… Every little thing!

Smack-dab in the midst of the film is among the most insane motion sequences of its time with the scene the place Xander Cage jumps out of a aircraft, makes use of a parachute to make it to the highest of a mountain, after which snowboards all the way down to destroy certainly one of Anarchy 99’s communication towers. Things get actually out of hand when Xander stops for a second, seems to be down on the tower, pulls out two grenades, throws them, after which races an avalanche down the mountain.

Like, what is the level of the avalanche? Could not xXx simply destroy the tower with out all of the theatrics and injury attributable to some of the highly effective forces of nature on the planet? And the way is he capable of outrun the wall of snow, ice, and rock whereas everybody on snowmobiles will get consumed by it? I do know, I do know, it is a film that wants some huge motion sequences, however the logistics have by no means actually made sense. However hey, the particular results look fairly good for a film from practically 20 years in the past.

Vin Diesel in xXx

The place Did The American Flag Parachute Come From?

And eventually there’s the American flag parachute. Close to the top of the film when Xander Cage is chasing after Ahab so as to stop “Silent Night time” from killing thousands and thousands of individuals, he connects to the automated ship with a harpoon (one other unexplainable thriller) and paraglide behind it like he is on a seashore trip. The funniest half in all of that is the truth that it is a parachute made to appear to be the celebs and stripes… in Prague, which is in Europe.

First off, why is there a parachute within the automotive to start with? Did Toby Lee Shavers (Michael Roof) know that Xander would want one in a bind? And why was it an American flag? I do know this the film was launched in a time when individuals had been uber-patriotic, which makes this appear to be an inexpensive approach of constructing Xander Cage look extra like an American badass hero, however come on!

And with that, this listing of issues from xXx that do not make sense has come to an finish. Concern not, as a result of with a franchise was wild and loopy as this one, I am certain there will likely be loads to put in writing about regarding xXx: State of the Union and xXx: Return of Xander Cage within the weeks to return. However within the meantime, this is what Vin Diesel needed to say about the opportunity of enjoying the 21st Century spy sooner or later.

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